The Question Behind the Question

“How’s it going?” “How-you-doing?” These words are often delivered as a greeting, not a question. There is often very little intention of a real answer, right? (It can be awkward when a true answer is offered –“I’m having a hard time”, “I’m lonely”, “I’m really anxious” -- it’s safer to stick with “great”, “doing well, thanks!”)

In coaching, at the beginning of an engagement, I ask a simple question: "What would be helpful for me to know about you?"

This one question opens up space for connection, understanding and trust. But why do we usually reserve these moments for a coaching session?
How often do you start your team meetings or check-ins with "Where are you today?" What if we began one-on-ones with "What would be helpful for me to know about what you're showing up with?"

These aren't just questions, and they’re a lot more powerful than rhetorical greetings – they're invitations to show up, whole selves, with whatever we are holding. To be seen. To belong.

Try it this week. Ask questions and LISTEN. The space that’s created is amazing for connection in your relationships and in your leadership.

And maybe give a real answer next time someone asks you how you’re doing😉.

#LeadershipDevelopment #Coaching #InclusiveLeadership #Belonging