I used to collect yeses. Now I protect them.

A question I ask a lot as a coach:
"What do you have to say no to, in order to say yes to what you truly want?"

Early in my career, I was a yes person. Proudly. That yes built my reputation, got me into rooms that shaped my career, and I have zero regrets.

At some point, I learned a quieter skill: "I'm going to think about it; I'll get back to you tomorrow." That pause turned out to be one of the most powerful tools I have.
I recently had to use it.

I serve on three nonprofit boards whose missions are deeply aligned with my values. When I was approached about a fourth board seat for an organization doing real good in the world, I genuinely wanted to say yes.

But when I looked honestly at the intersection of my work, my family, and my personal life, the answer became clear: my pro-bono time is at capacity right now. I'm rolling out new experiences in my business, showing up fully for my clients, exploring new partnerships, and my kids' schedules are asking a lot of me too.

Does that mean it will always be a no? Absolutely not. I look forward to saying yes to an invitation like that again.

But by saying no to that opportunity, I gave a bigger YES to showing up fully for my clients, to growing meaningful partnerships in my business, and to being truly present in my own life.

Not every season calls for this kind of discernment. There are seasons when a bold, unguarded YES will put you exactly where you need to be.

But if your yes is quietly costing you something - your values, your sense of fulfillment, your life as you want to live it -  it might be time to sit with that question.

What do you need to say no to, so you can say yes to what matters most?